


i don't know if this is empathy i feel

by TransPanda



Category: Scream (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Light Angst, listen to me i cried, set after kieran is arrested but before the island trip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 12:15:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11668929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TransPanda/pseuds/TransPanda
Summary: “This isn’t fair,” she murmured to herself, hearing the faint sound of Emma sniffling a few feet away from her. “God damn, it isn’t fair.” She shook her head again, turning and walking away. She couldn’t do this again.or Emma and Audrey being "friends" again after the Entire Mess™ and actually talking about some things that were revealed.





	i don't know if this is empathy i feel

**Author's Note:**

> Listen these gay ass characters murdered me personally I hope you know that

“Hey.”

Audrey looked up lazily, exhausted beyond belief. Dirt lined her cheeks and stuck to her palms. It felt like it was caked along the lining of her lungs, with how hard it was to breathe. Still, she let out a heavy breath and responded, “Yeah?” 

Emma, in a state too similar to her own, with her concerned eyes and worried lips, said, “It’s over now.”

Audrey’s shoulders sagged and she shifted on the stiff polyester of the car’s back seat, her heart aching at the words. Emma shouldn’t be the one reassuring  _ her _ , not after everything that’s happened. She let her right hand fall onto Emma’s left where it was fisted atop her thigh. She looked up into those eyes again and softly said, “I know,” she paused. “Do you?” 

Before her eyes, Emma’s face crumbled. Agonizing lines appeared along her forehead and around her mouth as she fell apart, tears quickly filling and escaping the lids of her eyes. Audrey pulled her into her side, letting tears drop heavily onto her shoulder and hands clutch desperately at her sides. She hated that such a strong girl had been reduced to this, all because of some sick maniacs who enjoyed ruining the lives of others. 

_ It’s your fault. _

The voice was Emma’s, a memory of a moment she’d never forget, of a moment she deserved to be plagued by. She shut her eyes and held Emma closer, letting her lips brush matted hair and her nose be buried in it, holding back her own tears. It’s over now, but they would never forget it.

 

-x-

 

The light of the setting sun filtered in through the curtains of Emma’s living room, creating an annoying glare on the television. Audrey turned to complain about the light ruining the movie, when the words suddenly stuck to the back of her throat as she saw the way the light danced across the lines of her friend’s face, creating dips of shadow that she found herself lost in. Swallowing the sudden lump in her throat, she turned and attempted to focus on the movie once more. She could live with the glare.

Just as she was able to bring her mind out of its Emma-centered detour and remember to at least  _ try  _ to follow the plot of the movie, Emma unceremoniously paused it. Audrey turned with a questioning look, ignoring the way her heart sped up when she saw Emma’s eyes staring suffocatingly into her own. “Everything okay?” she asked casually, hands fumbling with the bowl of popcorn she was clutching onto like a lifeline. 

“We need to talk,” Emma tentatively stated, shifting her body to face Audrey entirely. 

Audrey swallowed, nodded, and asked, “What about?”

Emma was studying her, her eyes fluttering around her face like she was looking for something. It made her nervous, so she averted her gaze and began picking at the popcorn. Emma’s next words caused her to freeze. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

It sounded confused, concerned, the words soft around the edges. Nothing about it was accusatory, and yet she felt like she’d suddenly stepped into an interrogation. Audrey cleared her throat and nonchalantly commented, “About what?” 

Emma sighed, her hand reaching to softly grip her wrist. Audrey looked up as Emma said, “About your… feelings for me.” 

Audrey chuckled awkwardly, her right hand coming up to scratch nervously at the back of her head. “I mean,” she began, “There was no point. It’s not like you felt the same way.” 

Emma nodded, pulling her hand away. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, always so caring for others, always ready to take the blame.

“Hey, it’s okay.” She made sure to make eye contact, made sure that Emma understood the honesty of her words. “It’s not your fault. We’re okay now, right?”

There was something slightly off about the way Emma smiled and nodded, but Audrey attributed it to the uncomfortable nature of their conversation. They both turned back to the TV and Emma mercifully unpaused the movie. Audrey let out a subtle, shaky sigh as she settled back into her seat, hoping that Emma didn’t notice the fidgeting of her hands.

 

-x-

 

They were in Noah’s room, having been promised an exclusive first-hand listening of one of his Morgue recordings, and really just having nothing more interesting to do. Audrey was lounged across his bed, picking at her nails, as Emma sat at the other end, hugging her knees to her chest with her phone in one hand. 

Noah’s comfortable drawl was interrupted by Emma placing a hand on Audrey’s ankle, whispering a quiet, “Hey.”

Audrey sat up, scooting closer so they could talk without interrupting Noah’s recording. “Yeah?” she asked, skin buzzing where Emma touched it.

“I just wanted to say that… I’m really glad that out of all of our friends, that you were the one by my side when it all… y’know, ended.” Her smile was small but grateful, and her hand was still on her ankle, rubbing soothing circles with her thumb. Audrey found it hard to concentrate.

“I’m glad I was too but… why are you bringing this up now?” she asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

Emma bit her lip, looking down at her knees for a moment. Audrey felt like her heart could very well beat out of her chest, what with their proximity and the touching and the lip-biting. She blinked herself back into the situation before she could get too lost in her own reaction just in time as Emma responded, “I just feel like, I don’t know… I always want you by my side.”

Audrey’s frown deepened at the affection shining through Emma’s gaze, at the energy it shot through her heart. “What does that mean?” she asked, feeling her lungs constricting. When Emma’s response was a mere shrug, Audrey pulled away, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. “Don’t… don’t do that, Emma,” she warned, her voice rough with hurt. She didn’t notice that Noah had stopped speaking.

Emma’s voice was confused as she asked, “Don’t do what?” 

Audrey stood up, turning to her friend with hurt flashing in her eyes and anxiety trembling her limbs. “Don’t  _ do _ that! Don’t give me hope when you _ know _ there is none.” Her breathing was heavy and her cheeks were heating up, the memory of the embarrassment she felt after her initial confession lashing at her heart. “It’s not… it’s not fair,” she said tiredly. With that, she turned and grabbed her jacket, stomping out of the room.

 

-x-

 

“I’m sorry.” 

The air turned thick at the words, Audrey turning from her locker to see an apologetic Emma standing before her, clutching her books with a white-knuckled grip. Seeing her friend’s stature caused her own to instantly soften, regret gnawing at her.

“No, I’m sorry,” Audrey said, assuaging that gnawing for a few moments. She’d caused Emma too much hurt in the past, and this was such a silly thing to add onto that for. “I overreacted,” she added, ducking her head.

Emma reached a hand out to her arm, bringing her gaze back up. Their faces were closer than Audrey remembered, but she didn’t have time to think about that as Emma continued, “No, I-I didn’t realize that you still-”

“I don’t,” Audrey cut her off, leaning away from her as much as she could with the lockers at her back. Emma frowned. 

“Then why…”

“It’s just… residual emotion, y’know? It’s no big deal, and I overreacted. I’m sorry.” She quickly shuffled around Emma, making a hasty escape as her heart pounded beneath her ribs. For some reason the only thing she could think about as she was walking away was a “fun fact” that Noah had told her once: your heart rate increases when you lie.

 

-x-

 

She hadn’t been  _ avoiding _ Emma, per say, but she hadn’t exactly been the one to initiate contact for a few weeks. They still hung out, but rarely alone and not as often as they used to. Things were just, awkward between them and it took too much energy for Audrey to pretend that it wasn’t for an elongated period of time. Now, though, her mind was off of it. Now she had Gina.

Gina was nice, pretty, smart. She kept her occupied with her witty jabs and intelligent repartee. She was fun to be around, and she cared about her. If they dated long enough she was sure that she would begin to develop feelings for her. It would just… take a while.

Audrey was snapped out of her reverie by the girl in question. “Hey, I’m gonna go get us some drinks,” she informed with one of her charming smiles. Audrey nodded and returned the kiss that Gina gave her before she stood and navigated her way to Brooke’s kitchen. They were all hanging out, the event being more of a get together than a party, only their closest friends there. She was having a nice time.

Emma didn’t seem to be, from what Audrey could judge from the few glances she’d let herself send the girl. She was sat just about as far from Audrey as she could get without being in a different room, and she’d stared at the bottom of her cup more than at anyone else in attendance. Eventually, her concern for her friend won out over any awkwardness she felt, so she stood and made her way to sit next to her.

“You okay?” she asked, sending her a reassuring smile. Emma weakly smiled back, nodding. Audrey watched as she took a healthy sip of her drink, what she assumed was beer. She frowned, carefully pressing, “Are you sure?”

Emma sighed, sending Audrey a short sharp glance as she muttered, “Why do you care, all of a sudden?” 

Audrey frowned, a small pulse of pain resonating through her chest as she croaked, “I’m sorry, what?”

Emma groaned and stood up, leaving the room without another word. Audrey watched her leave with a dumbfounded expression. She turned to see the rest of their friends staring at her with equally confused expressions, sans Brooke, who shook her head at Audrey, and Gina, who still hadn’t returned from the kitchen. Audrey sent Noah a helpless look, to which he just shrugged. She let out a strangled groan as she stood up, deciding to follow Emma.

She found her a few hallways into the house, slumped against the wall with one hand rubbing at her forehead. “Hey, what’s going on?” Audrey asked softly, knowing that it wouldn’t be best to startle her.

Emma’s look was more glare than anything as she looked up at her, and Audrey resisted the urge to step back at the weight of it. “Just go back to the party, Audrey,” Emma said in an admonishing tone. 

Audrey took a few steps forward, saying, “Okay, I don’t know what I did, but whatever it is, I’m sorry.” Emma rolled her eyes. “Why are you so mad at me?” Audrey asked, feeling slightly offended at her friend’s attitude.

Emma pushed herself off of the wall, standing straight with her arms crossed. “Do you really want to know the truth?”

“Yes!” Audrey didn’t understand why this felt like an argument.

“If you want to know the truth, I  _ hate  _ seeing you with her!” Emma angrily answered, gesturing vaguely to the living room.

Audrey frowned, heart fluttering in her chest as she asked, “Who? Gina?”

“Yes!” Emma’s eyes were wide, visibly upset as she took a step forward. “I hate watching you two be cute, and cuddly, and  _ happy. _ I don’t know why, Audrey, but it  _ hurts. _ I-It’s like I’ve been replaced!”

Audrey took a step back as Emma took a step forward, gobsmacked. “What does that mean, Emma?!” Emma paused. “What, so I’m not hopelessly in love with you anymore so you get jealous?” Emma blinked rapidly, turning slightly away. “How am I supposed to feel about that? What do you want me to say to that?” She felt so confused, like a vat of conflicting emotions was boiling behind her rib cage, pushing and pulling in conflicting directions. 

“I-I don’t know,” Emma whispered, her voice sounding broken.

Audrey sighed, feeling suddenly exhausted. She wanted this conversation to be over as soon as possible, but she had to ask, “Emma… do you-,” she took in a deep, shaky breath, “Do you have feelings for me?”

Emma looked at her, her eyes were wet and her chest shook with the labor of her breaths. Her reply was a weak and unsure, “I don’t know.”

Audrey shook her head, turning away from her friend with her hands on her hips. She couldn’t stop the swell of hope that pressed against the sides of her heart, and she felt incredibly guilty for it. She couldn’t let herself be caught up in this again. She couldn’t let her heart be broken again.

“This isn’t fair,” she murmured to herself, hearing the faint sound of Emma sniffling a few feet away from her. “God damn, it isn’t fair.” She shook her head again, turning and walking away. She couldn’t do this again.

 

-x-

 

She broke up with Gina a week later. As much as she tried, she couldn’t make herself feel for her what she wanted to. At least it had ended amicably, unlike some other things that were currently going less peacefully.

She hadn’t talked to Emma in as much time, and she didn’t know how she felt about that entire situation. She didn’t know if Emma was just upset because they weren’t spending as much time together, or if it really was something more. She didn’t allow herself to get her hopes up, and she decided that she would wait until Emma came to her to talk.

That, it seems, was much sooner than she expected as she opened her front door to see Emma standing outside of it. Swallowing back the thunder of emotions that suddenly burst to life inside of her, she silently moved to the side and let her in. After closing the door, she led the way to her room, once more closing the door when they were both inside. She stayed silent and standing, waiting for Emma to make the first move. 

Emma sat on her bed, hands fumbling together in her lap. She looked up slowly, saying, “I heard about you and Gina. I hope it wasn’t because of me.”

Audrey scoffed, snapping, “Not everything is about you, Emma.” When she saw Emma wince she regretted her tone immediately. She sighed, softening her stance just slightly, leaning against her desk.

Emma cleared her throat, looking up more confidently this time as she said, “I’ve been very confused recently, and I should not have said the things that I did before I’d figured out what I was feeling. It was unfair to you, as I know that feelings are not something you take lightly.”

“What, did you rehearse this before you came here?” Audrey asked with a small, lighthearted smirk.

Emma sighed, saying, “Could you just… let me finish?” Audrey grew serious again, nodding her acquiescence. “I’ve thought about it, and… I realized that I  _ do  _ have feelings for you.” Audrey froze. “I-I’m not saying that lightly, Audrey. I  _ know  _ that I hurt you before and I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t mean it.” 

Audrey didn’t know how to respond, didn’t even know how to process the information she was receiving. “Well, this is a shock,” she practically croaked, mind running a mile a minute in an attempt to understand what exactly was happening. Her disbelief was fighting valiantly against her hope, it seemed, and she didn’t know what to do, or even what she was meant to do.

“I understand if you don’t feel the same way anymore, I just thought that you deserved an explanation for my behavior,” Emma concluded, standing up as if to leave.

Audrey stepped in front of her, pleading, “Don’t leave. I-I just need a moment to think this through.”

Emma nodded, shoving her hands into her pockets nervously. As Audrey observed her she noticed that her cheeks were pink, her eyes anxiously flitting around the room, her teeth were nervously chewing on her bottom lip. She couldn’t believe that  _ Emma Duval  _ had feelings for her. A few years ago she would’ve jumped at this opportunity.

But it wasn’t a few years ago, she wasn’t the same person as she was then. Some feelings may have stuck it out, or maybe more than some, but she needed to use her head as well as her heart here. If this was Emma just wanting to experiment…

“Are you sure that you’re not just… curious to try something new?” she asked, watching Emma carefully for her response.

She shook her head rapidly, assuring, “This is more than that, I promise. If I was just looking for an experimental fling I wouldn’t come to you, Audrey. I wouldn’t hurt you like that.” She seemed so staunch, so sure of herself. Audrey took in a deep breath, her eyes practically twinkling with the possibilities as she finally let a slow smile take over her face. Emma smiled back, reaching out to take one of her hands.

Audrey ducked her head, wanting to disguise the heat in her cheeks as well as watch as their hands entwined. “So…” she said, breathing deeply to clear her head. She looked up again, biting her bottom lip. “How about we take this slow… Are you free this saturday?” Audrey asked, using her patented charming smile, tilting her head just so.

Emma laughed, almost a giggle, and nodded. She seemed to be just as excited as Audrey at the prospect, which was something that was hard for her to comprehend after so long of accepting that Emma would never feel the same way. “The Grindhouse?” Emma asked, rocking on her feet slightly. Audrey was completely and utterly endeared.

“I’ll pick you up at eight?” Audrey asked, smiling even wider when Emma nodded. She watched as Emma reluctantly let their hands fall apart, taking a few steps toward the door to her room. 

Emma opened the door, turning slightly to give one last, “I’ll see you later,” before leaving. Audrey blinked a few times once she was gone, unsure if what had just happened was real or not. Emma Duval returned her feelings. She was going on a date with Emma Duval this saturday. 

“Oh my god,” Audrey breathed, pulling out her phone to quickly send a series of ecstatic texts to Noah. She paused in her texting when she saw that she received a text from Emma.

_ Just a confirmation text to reassure you that what just happened was real and that we ARE going on a date this Saturday <3 _

Audrey laughed in pure disbelief, shaking her head as she once more whispered, “Oh my god.”


End file.
